The REAL “X-RATED” Birthday Adventures of OLD FLUFF in the Wacky Affiliate Kingdom

RATING: X-RATED 18+ (restricted to Adults – so, if you’re a flowery little princess who doesn’t approve of coarse language, well, you best FUCK OFF NOW!!)

Disclaimer – The Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent. Any Similarities to Actual Persons, Living or Dead, or Actual Events (or Actual Affiliate Marketing Platforms), is Purely Coincidental.

Once upon a time there lived an Old Fluff.

She was basically a CUNT, but I’ll be honest with ya, a nice CUNT in her own funny little CUNTISH way!!

Anyway, this Old Fluff decided to wander through the Kingdom of Wacky Affiliate and see what Wankers, oops sorry, I meant NEWBIES, she could help today.

So, first up was wanker, oops, there I go again, can’t help meself, Hahahaha!!. So, as I was saying, first up was Newbie Number One.

Newbie Number One decided to enter Old Fluff’s lair, otherwise known as Chatius de Livelieous

Now, there’s no two ways about it, Newbie Number One is an absolute Cocky Twat, or a Melt as we like to call him in Ole Londinian…

I kinda like Newbie Number One, the Cocky Twat, kinda reminds me of, well, ME!!!

Hahahahaha!!

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Anyway, let’s see what Old Fluff makes of Cocky Twat Newbie Number One in Chateus de Livelieous.

(FUCK ME, this is a bit of a mouthful all this oldy worldy crap, it’s giving me the right arse!!!<===Cockney Chat)

Newbie Number One – “I’ve been on the platform for about 10 minutes, I put in my GOALS that I wanted to earn $1,000,000 PER SECOND and I was willing to put in 10 minutes work PER YEAR and some CUNT replied, ‘These are great goals, more than achievable, just follow the training and you’ll reach your goals sooner than you think’ Is this cunt for real?”

Old Fluff – *straightens her crown, gulps down, and thinks to herself, what would the Prince say in this situation? Nope, I’m Old Fluff, not some horrible, heartless, little Cockney Cunt, there’s no way I’d be that RUDE to a newbie, I might think it, but I wouldn’t say it*

“Hello there, newbie number one, my sincere apologies. It’s just that many members of the Wacky Affiliate community like to welcome newcomers to the Kingdom, but as many, many, many people enter the Kingdom anew on a daily basis, it can become a little tiresome and repetitive, so sometimes it’s easier to copy and paste an answer. I do deeply apologise, but you do realise that those aren’t realistic goals, don’t you?

*Oh My, if the Cockney Cunt was here I can just imagine what he’d say – “OI Fluffles, what the bleedin’ fuckin’ hell are fucking going on about, you Cunt??? You may as well have copied and pasted that load of bollocks you just said to Newbie Number One, The Cocky Twat!!”*

Newbie Number One – “Okay, yeah, I thought as much. And yes, I do realise that my goals weren’t realistic, but I thought the place was full of robots, no-one seems real, as in, they’re on another level, is this a CULT?”

(that was CULT… not CUNT by the way, thanking you!!)

Old Fluff – *bites her tongue, gulps down a massive giggle, steadies herself*

“Well, I can assure, I am not a robot and I’m definitely not a member of a cult”

(It’s soooo hard NOT to drop to drop a C-BomB when saying CULT!!! Hahahaha!!)

“You must remember that we are a worldwide community, and we differ in many ways from each other, from personalities, to age, experience, intelligence, and a myriad of other ways too. But, there are no robots here, and pretty much EVERYONE means well.”

Newbie Number One – “Well, I think you’re all a bunch of…”

AaaaaaaannnnnnnnnD

REPORT SPAM

DELETE

Yaaayy!!! Well done for pressing the button Old Fluff, be gone Cocky Twat from whence you came.

Anyway, just coming in over the horizon, oh look, it’s Newbie Number Two.

Newbie Number Two – “Scam, Scam, Scam, Scam, Scam, Scam, Scam, Tell me how much you earn, and I want to see your bank account and a photo of you holding today’s newspaper in your hand too, with all the money you’ve made this month withdrawn from the Bank, and it must be in Australian Dollars”.

Old Fluff – “Oh Just FUCK OFF!!”

REPORT SPAM

DELETE

Oh my, Old Fluff has lost her legendary patience, composure, poise, and elegance.

Well, it happens to us all, so I can say I blame the Old Cunt… I mean FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (oops, Hahahahaha!!! Don’t Hurt Me, Hahahaha!!)

Here’s Newbie Number Three (Oh jeeeeezzz, please give us a gooden!!!)

Oh Wait… it looks like some other Wacky Affiliate regulars are coming to Chateus de Livelieous.

Here comes:

Wonky Donkey

Andre the Not So Giant

Blunt Brenda

The Amazonian Lady of the Islands

AND

OLD BETTY (just rolled down some Mexican Mountain to fucking get here, the Old Cunt!!!)

Wonkey Donkey – “Alright Old Fluff you CUNT, how’s it going? HEE-HAW”

Blunt Brenda – “Oh Do Fuck Off, have those pesky little newbies been at it again?”

Old Fluff – “Good Morning Ladies, wonderful to see you here.”

Andre the Not So Giant – “Who you fucking calling LADIES.. Wanker!!”

Amazonian Lady of the Islands – “What’s with all the swearing and coarse language, I’m a lady you know.

Old Fluff, Wonkey Donkey, Blunt Brenda, Old Betty, and Andre the Not So Giant in Unison – “OH FUCK OFF”

Old Fluff – “Sorry, Amazonian Lady of the Islands, just kidding. Unfortunately, Prince Partha’s narrating, so you just never know what the Cunt (oops) is gonna make us say.”

Wonkey Donkey – “I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I’ve never even said CUNT before… Ooooohhhhhh I like it, I want to say it again… CUNT, CUNT, HEE-HAW, CUNT, CUNT, HEE-HAW CUNT!!”

Blunt Brenda – “Oh great, I see the Donkey’s Fucked again!!”

Oh yeah, I almost FORGOT

Newbie Number Three actually entered Chateus de Livelieous while all this commotion was going on, and thought better of it… she goooooooooooooooonnnnneeeee – Useless Cunt!!

Anyway!!

Finally, here’s another newbie.

Newbie Number Four – “Ooohhh, I must say, it’s a little lively in here, LOL, Anyway, I’m newbie number four, it’s my first day, I’m pleased to meet you all.

OH LOOK, And as if by magic, a pretty lady enters Chateus de Livelieous and within 0.00002 seconds heeeeere’s

JESTER JOSEPH!!!!!

Jester Joseph – “Hello there Newbie Number Four, firstly may I say that you are looking mighty fine. I just can’t stop smiling whenever I look at that cute little face. WOW!! What’s say you and me go get some drinks, a little dinner, we take a romantic stroll through the beautiful dusk Kingdom lights, and see how the night takes us.”

Smooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooottttthhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Blunt Brenda – “Will someone neuter that Cunt!!!”

Old Betty – “I’LL DO IT, Where’s My Chainsaw? Fuck Him, Little Prick. I’m more than willing to Smack My Bitch Up!!”

It appeared that Newbie Number Four had a bit more about her and was willing to see through the banter (CUNT!!) and stay a little longer.

Newbie Number Four – “So, I’m looking to choose my niche between parrots, brandy, walking sticks, communication skills, and promoting the Wacky Affiliate Kingdom, should I do all of them on one website?”

Old Betty – “For Fucks Sake!!! This Cunt’s looking for a Long-Lost, Alcoholic, Distant Relative of Long John Silver, Who’s Skint and Looking to Make Some Money, and Has a Lisp!!! I mean, there’s narrowing down yer niche, and then there’s just plain loopy in the head… CUNT!!!”

Andre the Not So Giant – “Now, Now, come on Old Betty, we were all new once, full of ideas, motivation, and inspiration.”

Amazonian Lady of the Islands – “Oh Fuck Off, Not So Giant You Not So Giant Twat!! Ooops, I would never say something like that, I swear to you, it must have been narrated in by that evil Prince Partha… the Cockney Cunt!! Oops!!”

Old Fluff – “Firstly, I must apologise for the other members, and their crude behaviour”

Blunt Brenda, Andre the Not So Giant, Wonky Donkey, Jester Joseph, Old Betty, Amazonian Lady of the Islands in UNISON – “Oh FUCK OFF… Hee-Haw!!”

Old Fluff – “Anyway, as I was saying, before I was so rudely and crudely interrupted, NO, you shouldn’t create anything that has so many different directions. It’s admirable that you have so many interests, but in reality you are creating for a specific group of people that you wish to help in some way”.

Andre the Not So Giant – “ooooooooooo!! Hark at this CUNT, giving it all Billy Big Bollocks, talking posh, mentioning “admirable” and “creating” and shit like that. Fuck Off Old Fluff”

Jester Joseph – “NOOOOOOO!!!! I will never allow a LADY to be spoken to in that way… Oh No… Hold On … it’s Old Fluff, FUCK IT, Fuck the CUNT!!!”

(Oh yeah, by the way, during all this commotion, YEP, you’ve guessed it… Newbie Number Four Fucked OFF, last seen being run over by Blunt Brenda’s mobility scooter) – (I LOVE Blunt Brenda, the CUNT!!! Hahahahaha!! PLEASE DON’T share this with her, Hahahahahahaha!!!)

No need to worry, here comes Newbie Number Five (Oh for fucks sake… RUN AWAY NOW!!! Hahahaha!!)

Newbie Number Five – “YO!!!! Bitches!! How’s it hanging? Right, I’m here to teach you CUNTS how it’s done… None of this bollocks that you’ve been going on about for years… I’m a cocky cunt, and I’m gonna kick all your fucking arses into shape!!”

Old Fluff thinks to herself *There is something VERY familiar about this cocky, arrogant CUNT, but I just can’t quite put my finger on it… BUT, he intrigues me, I feel as though I already know Newbie Number Five, there’s a connection… What can it be?*

Newbie Number Five – “Motheeeeeeeeeeeeeerr FUCKERS!!! What’s going on? Talk to me, you useless CUNTS!!!”

Old Fluff Ponders Once More *I DEFINITELY know this arrogant TWAT!!!*

Newbie Number Five – Oi… WANKY Affiliates!!!”

Jester Joseph – “I think you meant WACKY affiliates”

Newbie Number Five – “I KNEW what I fucking meant”

Hee-Haw (oops sorry, forgot) Wonkey Donkey – “I LIKE Newbie Number Five, he’s a CUNT, CUNT, CUNT Hee-Haw”

Amazonian Lady of the Islands – “There is DEFINITELY something very familiar about Newbie Number Five, the Cocky Cunt.

Old Fluff – “Could it possibly be that the “Cocky Cunt” is in fact the… “COCKNEY CUNT”

Blunt Brenda, Andre the Not So Giant, Jester Joseph, Old Betty, and the Amazonian Lady of the Islands in UNISON – “FUCK OFF OLD FLUFF… It’s your BIRTHDAY and you’re fucking pissed again, wake up you CUNT, and have a truly and utterly FANTASTIC DAY”

And with that, this motley crew of reprobates strolled off into the sunset.

BUNCH OF CUNTS!!!

THE END

WAIT…

Wasn’t there someone missing off that list of Wacky Affiliate Weirdos wishing Old Fluff a Happy Birthday?

Hold it, here she is!!!